A child whose behavior pushes you away is a child who needs connection more anything else.
Have you observed that often Teenagers get annoyed even if you ask them how their day was? Or if they’re done with their homework?
Tension between teenagers and parents is real and growing with time. Teenagers in the era of technology are facing severe issues. And it seems like there is a Communication gap between parents and their children.
Thousands of parents have been reporting serious conflicts with teen kids and their several consequences including drug addiction, stress and depression.
Here are some common issues faced by parents of teens aged 10-16 specifically
Types of Teenage Issues with Parents
There are tens and hundreds of daily issues which teenagers have with their parents. But the center of conflict are often these things:
● Use of drugs
● Sibling Fights
● Trust and Boundaries issues
● Obesity and body image
● Cyber addiction
● Stress or Depression
● Lack of attention
● Choice of friends
● Early age sex
● Excessive partying outside
● Teenage pregnancy etc.
Main Conflicts between parents and teenagers:
One of the biggest reasons behind all the issues and clashes is the Identity Crisis -a biggest part of being a teen is, they tend to develop their own identity separate from their parents. And some control heavy parents try to have the teens under more strict control. As a result teens become rebellious.
The other reason is teens try to change accustomings around them. As a result there are fights and clashes between parents and even siblings.
Another main issue is the choice of friends. Parents are more likely to disrespect the choice of friends of their growing teens. The reason behind this could be anything but parents usually don’t consider their teenage daughters and sons mature enough to make wise choices.
Attitude towards sex, early age pregnancy and excessive partying outside with friends are the other significant reasons behind clashes.
And as a result teens seem to hate their parents and even siblings and the whole family dynamic.
Why Do Teens Seem To Hate Their Parents
Teens specifically between the ages of 10 to 16 have boundaries and trust issues with their parents. Often they tend to keep away from any conversation with their parents to avoid clashes. The other very common factor is that they are more inclined towards their peers than their own parents. This thing is common and at the same time problematic in some cases.
Another strand is the communication gap between parents and their kids. Sometimes teens feel like their parents are not giving them adequate attention.
At the same time parents are often unable to accept the physical and emotional changes in their children. Or they are simply unable to take those changes in a positive way because they are not used to it.
If you’re facing the same problems, read the information below to build a better relationship with your teenagers.
How to Build a Strong Relationship with Your Growing Teens?
First of all parents need to realize that they are parents. Parenting teenagers is one of the hardest things today. But if we, as parents, get comfortable with the fact that our growing teens have the right to certain choices and opinions, and that they can have a separate identity that may be different, things can get pretty good.
Sometimes parents get upset over small things. You need to realize that your teen is an individual and has certain rights to self respect. So there is an immediate need to change this behavior.
Give yourself and your teen a little space and keep yourself calm.
Teens are more likely to get annoyed with their parents when parents don’t accept their ideas. And this is common. Take a deep breath and let your teen explain their feelings.
Talk less and listen more
Show your teens how much you love them. This is actually important because sometimes teens have this feeling of not being loved by their parents. Take some time off your busy schedule and make them feel IMPORTANT.
Approach every unpleasant, conflicting situation with love. Remember that love is the only language that moves the hearts of human beings. Your growing teen is also a human being and he/she deserves your love more than anyone else.
Always avoid staring your teens in the eye during a conflicting situation. And keep yourself positive during these debates. If you get angry with them, they’ll do the same to you. Maintain a peaceful environment to resolve issues.
Don’t argue with your spouse Infront of your teens. Trust me they hate it the most. Keep yourself calm and show empathy and concern.
Keep yourself away from self-centered behavior. Respect the needs, demands and choices of your teenagers. Try to avoid shouting and yelling at your teens. It really destroys their mental health.
Role of positive parenting
There is a saying
The best way to raise positive children in this negative World is to have positive parents who love them unconditionally and serve as excellent role models.
Positive parenting leads to a strong and healthier relationship between teens and parents. It concentrates on teaching children self-control rather than parental controls.
In positive parenting you must adopt a sensitive approach towards the needs and challenges faced by growing kids particularly between 8 to 16 years.
If parents show a sensitive and tender attitude in interactions with their children, that really boosts the confidence and feelings of self worth among children.
Effects of Positive Parenting on teen-parent Relationship
Children who live with positive and understanding parents are more responsible and disciplined in their day to day routine. Positive parenting interpositions may promote healthy adolescent development. Whereas negative or harsh parenting or frequent
shouting and hitting (either emotionally or physically) influence the behaviors of teens in negative ways.
Therefore it is important to understand that harsh or strict and unfriendly behavior of parents towards their teens can cause serious clashes between them. Both teenagers and parents must respect the boundaries of each other and make efforts to show love, empathy and concern.
Things to keep in mind
Raising a teenager in 2021 is difficult more than ever. Respect the boundaries of your teen.
Listen to his/her side of story peacefully.
Show your hearties feelings to teenagers.
Be friendly and sensitive.
Be realistic in your expectations from your teens. Enjoy more loving, caring and responsible children. Happy Parenting