The effects of growing up with strict parents
Parenting style is an individual choice. What works in house A may be different from that in house B. In many Asian homes, what you will find is the presence of strict parents. Asians believe in strict parenting as they believe that’s the only way to ensure their child is well-behaved. This takes us to our next question.
Does being strict parents guarantee a well-behaved child?
Before answering, we must establish that every home has that parent who establishes clear boundaries. Most times, it’s usually a strict mom that establishes boundaries in the house and does the scolding. However this is different from strict parenting as with strict parents there is always some sort of scolding, harassment and control.
The natural effect is that such a child grows up with zero self-esteem and constant fear of their parents. As a way to scold, strict parents often result in using harsh and vulgar words. This could either lead to such a child imitating the action and becoming wayward or being withdrawn and ridden with fear.
So, in response to the question of whether strict parenting guarantees a well-behaved child, the obvious answer is not necessary. Even though some people may argue that it does, the disadvantages of having strict parents outweigh the benefits. Of what use is a ‘well-behaved child’ with zero self-esteem and loads of childhood trauma?
How do I raise my child?
We must provide an alternative if we are encouraging the demise of strict parents.
The first thing is to be more attentive. Rather than focus on the mistakes your child makes, pay more attention to why they did so. Observe their actions and try to understand their reasons. This helps you have an idea of why they do certain things so you can advise appropriately.
More importantly, when you turn to scold, avoid yelling. Instead, be calm with your approach by explaining the offence and why you believe the consequences are appropriate.
The goal of every parent is to raise well-behaved children. However, we need to rid ourselves of the belief that we have to be strict parents or strict moms to achieve that. Instead, correct your child with love and patience and watch them grow well.