Asian parent and their misbelief in parenting methods
An Asian parent is heavily focused on family and preserving the family name and culture. Due to this reasoning, little to no focus is given on the peculiarity of the child or their real wants and needs.
As an Asian parent, there is the misconception that you must follow tradition and ancient practices in raising a child. The usual saying every Asian parent makes is “I was raised like this so I will raise you like this.” This is regardless of whether such parenting style is harmful or problematic to the child.
Asian parents need to do better in these modern times. Modern parenting focuses on the general well being of the child to ensure they are raised with love, care and affection. This helps reduce the cases of childhood trauma and its terrible effects on children.
The effects of raising a child the traditional Asian parent way
As earlier established, the Asian parenting style focuses on preserving family’s name and reputation. Hence, many Asian parents adopt the strict and controlling parenting style. They rely on fear as the major ingredient of parenting, hoping to dictate what is allowed and not allowed in the child’s life. This creates unnecessary pressure on the child which often leads to a troubled childhood full of childhood trauma. Other effects include the child developing anxiety disorder, low self esteem, mood swings, and depression.
Just because you are an Asian parent raised in the traditional way does not mean you must extend the same to your child. Times have changed and parenting styles have since evolved. Parenting is now focused on improving a child’s well being by raising them with love and care.
This ensures that children grow up to be happy and high functioning adults in the society.
As a modern Asian parent, here are a few things you can do to properly bring up your child:
- Be open to letting them try out new things rather than forcing them to do your bidding. At best, provide them with the necessary guidance and advice. Doing so helps their self esteem and gives room for them to do things they genuinely enjoy. This lets you raise happy individuals.
- Strengthen your family relationship by engaging in different activities together. These activities are no avenue for you to lecture your child or make them feel lesser than they are. It is to have fun together as a family. Some things you can do are, plant trees, play games, visit places, etc. Acknowledge and embrace your children’s opinions concerning what activities to do.
- Do not hit your child or abuse them in the course of ‘Discipline’. Many Asian Parents equate discipline to hitting a child or giving some sort of abusive punishment. Modern times have shown that this is not necessarily so as this could have terrible effects on the child. Abused children often grow up with childhood trauma and unwillingness to continue a relationship with their parents.
- Teach your child to control their temper or anger. The best way to do this is by controlling your own temper and anger. Children pick up traits from their parents. Hence, when the parent does a good job controlling their temper, the children will follow suit. Doing so helps prevent future issues like raising an aggressive child or a child that will become a menace to society.
What should Asian parent do?
A healthy childhood is the opposite of troubled childhood and the key to preventing childhood trauma. To provide your child with a healthy childhood, you need to depart from doing the things Asian parents do, especially in the course of parenting.
Asian parents need to model their parenting style to reflect modern times and reality. There is no need to be too strict or overbearing on your child. Give room for your child to fully express themselves and try out things. This ensures you raise children who have a healthy family foundation and can go on to create one of theirs.
Having a good family background will help children grow up physically and mentally. Despite being Asian parents raised in traditional ways. However, when things around change, it doesn’t mean that you always have to be affected by those influences. Modern children can learn from their surroundings easily and quickly. with ideas outside the box Therefore, parents must understand and adjust the care guidelines accordingly.