How to avoid troubled childhood affecting on your children
Childhood trauma is often the aftermath or consequence of dealing with a troubled childhood. Unfortunately, this trauma lasts well from childhood to adulthood, affecting various aspects of their lives. Hence, it is important that parents do all they can to provide a happy and safe childhood for their children.
Stop transferring the effects of your troubled childhood to your child!
Most Asian parents have the attitude of trying to dictate their child’s lives and all they should do from childhood to adulthood. Not only is that selfish, but extremely dangerous as it eventually leads to such a child dealing with a troubled childhood.
Society changes and parenting styles evolve. The old Asian parenting style is no longer suitable got modern times. Asian parents must understand that and stop seeing their child’s childhood as an avenue for trauma bond healing.
What characteristics of old Asian parenting styles lead to a troubled childhood?
Firstly, the use of violence in the name of discipline. Asian parents find it too easy to hit kids in trouble. That is not a form of discipline, it is simply abuse. Some take it an extra mile by also using vulgar words and verbally assaulting their children. Such acts affect the child’s self esteem, subjecting the child to mental health check and possible trauma.
Consequences of projecting your troubled childhood on your child
As earlier said, the consequences of trying to raise your child the old Asian way can be disastrous. You will be subjecting them to traumatic events and constant mental health checks. Society has changed. Asian parents need to embrace more efficient and appealing parenting styles such as gentle parenting. Gentle parenting focuses on providing your child with love, care and affection while taking their interests to heart. Rather than result to violence or abuse, you settle for proper conversations and other form of discipline that doesn’t involve emotional torture.
As a parent, I suffer from a troubled childhood. How do I cope?
The first thing to do is not seek a trauma bond healing. It is unhealthy and unfair to your child. Your child doesn’t need to go through the same kind of trauma before you can relate with them.
Do not try to have another childhood by living for your child. Instead, create ways for them to have a better childhood and enjoy it. Pay attention to your child and show them love and care.
Also, take care of yourself. You can decide to go for therapy to clear up any lingering trauma you have. Your mental state should be in a great stage for your children.
While you don’t necessarily have to discard all you were taught growing up, it is important to remember that society changes. You cannot bring up a child using the parenting style of your generation. Instead, look at the efficient parenting styles today and adopt them as they best suit your child’s needs.